


Murder, He Wrote

by Alice_Rolfe



Category: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, Naruto Shonen Jump
Genre: Angst, Cliche meeting, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, NaruSasu - Freeform, Romance, SasuNaru - Freeform, narusasunaru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:59:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4345955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Rolfe/pseuds/Alice_Rolfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto is a secretary at the Konoha Printing Press and Editing Firm. Sasuke is an up and coming writer with a bitter past. Together, they might just be able to do some good. Apart, there's no telling what they'll screw up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Duty Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sasuke is an asshole, Naruto is confused, and Ino hates to love Sakura.

If he was being honest, Sasuke Uchiha could spend all damn day talking about his newest projects. If he was being even more honest, he could spend weeks talking about them. The problem with being a recluse freelance writer was that there almost nothing in this world that could coax him up from his laptop and comfy window seat to talk about it. Heaven knows Itachi couldn’t spare his attention for even the slightest amount of time without becoming distracted and hanging up the phone on his younger brother with a tired sigh. Sometimes, Sasuke would get crazy ideas. Thinking stupid things like trying to get out more or being more open with people.

“Tch” Sasuke sucked his teeth. “Not this side of hell I won’t”, he mumbled.

Sasuke stared longingly at the cell phone perched up on the window sill in perfectly placed arms reach from where his fingers were currently hovering over his laptop’s keyboard. In an hour’s time, Sasuke had managed to spin out a near 3500 words of his latest novel. He wanted to tell someone. He wanted to tell Itachi, but knowing his older brother’s response made him hesitant. Hesitant, but not completely adverse to the notion. With a grunt, Sasuke’s pale hand snatched up the phone and deft fingers punched in his brother’s number.

The phone rang at least four times before the voice on the other end answered with an exasperated “Yes, Sasuke?”

With a roll of his eyes, Sasuke brushed a stray clump of dark hair out of his face and wasted no time in his tale. After all, Itachi’s attention was numbered and precious.

“So I finally wrote that part that I’ve been hung up on for so long! Okay, anyway, Daniel finally figures out why Liz is so good with a knife and obviously Liz can’t let him find anything out…”

Sasuke is interrupted by the sound of Itachi speaking to someone else. He can just make out the quiet conversation.

“No, it’s Sasuke” Itachi says evenly.

A pause, then “Of course I understand, but it can wait”.

Knowing all too well that his brother was attempting to turn down yet another responsibility in light of hearing his younger sibling’s latest muse, Sasuke did his brother a favor and hung up the phone first this time before Itachi could get a word in edgewise. Moments later, his phone lit up and vibrated. A text. Itachi.

_Why did you hang up?_

Sasuke chewed his lower lip knowing his response would need to be worded very precisely for Itachi to get the right message. Finally, his fingers moved hesitantly over the touch screen keyboard.

_Just got a great idea and had to write it down, sorry._

_I see. Happy writing Otouto._

Slumping back into his chair, Sasuke stared absently at his brother’s response. It’s not that Itachi didn’t want to talk to him, but he knew his older brother would drop any and all responsibility to tend to Sasuke’s every whim. While understandable in light of their past, I frankly annoyed Sasuke. He was a 20 year old man. He didn’t need his older brother catering to him out of need to. He wanted Itachi to want to talk to him instead of feeling obligated to. Besides, Itachi had, no doubt, super important engineering shit to attend to.

“Stupid genius brother” Sasuke spat.

When Itachi graduated from high school three years early, he finished a Software Engineering degree in less than two making him the prime candidate for government operations seeking genius computer minds like his. Sasuke wasn’t even entirely sure what his brother did for a living and he really didn’t want to know. He stopped being curious when in the middle of one of their conversations he was pretty sure he heard gun shots. None of which phased Itachi of course. The man had zero shock factor. Needless to say, everyone was thrilled for him.

_“Oh so brilliant Itachi! How does one ever live through the pain of their parent’s death and manage to be such a well put together success? Oh and where’s Sasuke he got a B in math you need to set him straight so he’ll get A’s like you.”_

Hell they might not have had parents half their lives but the damn community they lived in was sure to make up for that and yeah maybe Sasuke was thrilled for him too but when your mother, father, and brother were all super geniuses saying that you were planning on going to school for creative writing and literary analysis kinda put a damper on people’s expectations. Sasuke sighed. He should’ve just majored in Aerospace Engineering like everyone had told him.

It didn’t help that Sasuke couldn’t seem to ever finish his longer works. Sure he freelanced for article writing and formatting, but novel writing was where he wanted to be. Everything else just put bread on the table.

Deciding he needed time away from his thoughts and a change of scenery, Sasuke slid on a pair of faded dark jeans, hooked his laptop under his arm and made his way out of his small apartment.

* * *

Naruto really loved answering phone calls. Who didn’t? You know what he also loved? Taking orders from his self absorbed, psychotic boss. Who the fuck was he kidding. No. Naruto wanted to jump off a bridge. The tall, ultimate death is near kind because if Tsunade made him go on one more coffee run, he was going to drown himself in it.

“Make sure that frap has extra whip on it” his co worker Kakashi said evenly as Naruto made for the door.

“I’ll give you an extra whip!” Naruto spat back before pulling angrily at his blonde spiky hair, realizing how ridiculously stupid that sounded. Damn this job.

Kakashi just smirked, absently flipping a page in his book as he leaned a muscular arm against Naruto’s desk.

In all truthfulness, Naruto loved them, but he’d be lying if he said that didn’t aggravate him to the point of no return on the daily. Still, he wouldn’t still be working here if he didn’t care. That and Jiraiya would probably rise from his grave and clobber him if Naruto ever quit. Looks like coffee runs and snippy clients were his calling.

Swinging through the revolving door, Naruto stumbled into the bustling streets of Washington D.C. and was swept into the lunchtime parade of people on very important missions to satisfy the hunger caused by the stress and patience needed for their nine to fives. Naruto just wanted Starbucks and a pack of ramen.

There were only two things made these relentless coffee runs bearable: the Asian food store across the street from Starbucks, and his best friend Sakura manning the register there. Naruto glanced into the coffee shop registering the usual line of people eagerly awaiting their next dose of caffeinated crack. He had a system though. The girl who worked the counter had a thing for him, so he went with his usual strategy.

He strolled into the Starbucks and easily approached the counter, huge grin plastered on his face. A dark haired girl with light eyes and pale skin was in the middle of scribbling that god forsaken Starbucks short hand hieroglyphics onto one of the plastic cups before her hand stilled as she instead chose to focus on the tanned, blond, blue eyed glory of Naruto Uzumaki.

“N-Naruto kun” she said softly as her cheeks flushed scarlet. Aw, Naruto liked it when Hinata used her Japanese with him. It was endearing.

She fumbled with the man’s cup until it fell to the floor as her face turned a brighter shade of red. The waiting man’s face had also turned red as he spared a glance at his watch, but he doubted the man’s flush was because he wanted to get in Naruto’s pants. He would have to make this one quick.

“Uh, hey Hinata” he said sheepishly and folding his arms behind his head. “Listen I know it’s rush hour and all, but do you mind putting in an order for me?”

Naruto put on his best smile and rolled back on his heels. Hinata blushed harder.

“O-of of c-course Naruto kun”she smiled.  
Naruto winked and flashed her a foxy smirk. “Thanks, Hinata. You’re the best. I’ll be back in a bit to pick it up!”

With that Naruto exited the coffee shop, silently praying that he didn’t make the man behind him angry enough to say anything rude to Hinata. Remembering the man’s angered expression, Naruto though maybe it was better he went back and checked.

He hadn’t even gotten his entire body out the door before he was swiveling back around to go inside when something hard and solid ran into his face. Okay, so maybe he ran into it, but woah why did it _smell_ so good?

Rubbing his now red forehead, Naruto raised his eyes, meeting a piercing black stare. A man with dark hair dressed in dark clothes was sending him the most convincing death glare he’d ever seen.

“Dammit” the man said bitterly. “Dammit, dammit, dammit” he said more urgently and rushed out to the nearest outdoor table, setting something down on top of it.

“Hey sorry about that…” Naruto began as he peeked over the man’s shoulder. He was furiously rubbing napkins over his laptop and Naruto looked behind him to see the remains of spilled coffee just in front of the door. Realization finally dawned on him.

“Aw wait, dude, I’m so sorry. Here let me help” Naruto said grabbing for some napkins, but the man just snatched them away.

“Haven’t you done enough, asshole? You should watch where you’re going dumbass” the man snarled.

Naruto’s brow crinkled. “The fuck?”

“I said watch. Where. You’re. Going.” The man continued angrily swiping a napkin over his laptop with each word.

Naruto snorted. “No, no I heard you, I just didn’t think dicks like you actually existed. Who the hell do you think you are?”

The man stiffened and leaned up from his concentrated position over his laptop. Naruto crossed his arms and the man copied his stance, only inches away from him.

 _Holy shit_ Naruto thought, actually getting a good look at him. _He’s gorgeous._

The man rolled his eyes.

 _Perfect eyes_ Naruto thought begrudgingly. _Perfect, pretty dark eyes._  
“I don’t have time for this”, the man spat before color rose to his cheeks and he stormed away, sliding his laptop under his arm.

* * *

Sasuke stomped down the sidewalk back towards his apartment in a flurry of Starbucks napkins and the smell of coffee oozing off his clothes and wafting into the air. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to punch himself.

Here he was just minding his own business trying to churn out the last few words of the chapter he was working on when his concentration is broken by Mr. Tan and Gorgeous walking into the cafe. Like how the _hell_ do you even get a tan like that in D.C.? Of course, his rational mind told him to high tail it out of there until he could find somewhere to concentrate. Besides, the way Mr. Hottie there was staring at the barista gave him the sinking feeling that the blond was unavailable. Not that Sasuke wanted him to be available. He just felt bad for the poor barista that had to endure a conversation with him. Oh yeah. That was definitely it.

Sasuke fumed, running a hand through his dark hair and coddling the laptop tucked under his arm. He hoped that idiot hadn’t caused any serious damage. He should’ve tried to turn it on to check, but those damned blue eyes somehow prevented his brain from working properly. No that wasn’t it. Maybe it was just because he had hot coffee all over him and the burning pain was preventing cognitive thought. Of course.

Even so, Sasuke couldn’t deny that blondie was attractive. If you were into that just left vacation, radiant smile, and perfect body kind of thing. Which Sasuke _totally_ wasn’t.

With a grunt Sasuke spotted the nearest bench amidst the bustling sidewalk and threw himself down on it. His black, high collared shirt engulfed his neck as he whipped out his cell phone and situated his laptop atop his thighs. For the second time that day, Sasuke dialed Itachi’s number.

The phone rang for a while and just as Sasuke was going to give up and save himself the long winded leave a message speech automated system, his brother answered.

“Sasuke. What can I do for you Otouto? Did you finish writing that idea down?”

Sasuke scanned the ever moving crowd of D.C. business folks around him and bit the inside of his cheek before speaking.

“I need you to find someone for me” Sasuke said calmly.

“Find someone?”

“Yes, as in a person” Sasuke said bitterly.

On the other end, Itachi chuckled. It was a dark, teasing thing that Sasuke begrudgingly loved to hear and reminded him of their time together as children.

“Oh?” Itachi said fondly. “Has Sasuke made a friend?”

“Like hell” Sasuke began. “Some idiot ran into me and got coffee all over my laptop and it’s not turning on.”

Sure enough no matter how many times Sasuke mashed the power button of the laptop balanced precariously on his thighs, it refused to come to life.

“I can buy you a new laptop, Sasuke. That isn’t an issue.”

“But what about my book?” Sasuke whined.

“Didn’t you save all your information to an external hard drive like I told you to?”

“Yes but—”

“Good”, Itachi said, interrupting him. “I’ll have a new laptop sent to you immediately. It was time for you to upgrade anyway. That thing was becoming a dinosaur. Is there anything else you needed? This person, do you still need me to find them now?”

“Yes” Sasuke said, not bothering to thank his brother. “Yes, I still need to find them.”

“For what purpose?” Itachi asked evenly, his voice betraying nothing.

“Tch” Sasuke sucked his teeth. “Because I didn’t get to punch them in the face for screwing up my laptop”.

Itachi sighed. “What’s the name?”

Sasuke hesitated. “Um…”

“Don’t tell me you expect me to find somone without a name, Sasuke.”

“Shut up” Sasuke hissed. “I’ll get you a name”.

With that Sasuke hit the end button on his phone and shoved it back into his pocket. Damn Itachi. He needed to see that blond haired man again. There was no way somebody was going to mess up his laptop and get away without a scratch. He would soon fix that. His phone buzzed, snatching him from his thoughts.

 _From Itachi: Can you at least give me a description?  
_ Sasuke snickered. His big brother would always come through some way or another.

_Had three scars on his cheeks. Really faint, but kinda looked like whiskers. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Tan._

He leaned back into the bench, dragging his hands over his face in exasperation he awaited his brother’s reply. Another buzz.

_And the dreamiest smile you’ve ever seen?_

Sasuke figured he’d let that one slide seeing as Itachi was doing him a favor. His phone buzzed again just as he was readying to put it back in its place in his pocket.

“Damn Itachi” he mumbled under his breath before realizing the buzz wasn’t signaling a text, but instead reminding him of his two o’clock appointment with the Konoha Editing Firm and Printing Press. Oh shit.

Sparing a glance at the time and mentally slapping himself for his carelessness, Sasuke hurriedly gathered his things and headed in the direction of the large, multi storied building that towered over all the rest. Fifteen minutes. He had fifteen minutes to get to what might be the most important meeting of his life. 

And he was still covered in coffee.

* * *

Blue eyes glazed over, Naruto just watched as the angry, gorgeous man walked away catching the faintest glimpse of a tattoo at his wrist. Yeah that guy was a dick, but man was he a pretty one. A nagging voice in Naruto’s head was telling him to go back inside and do what he’d meant to do in the first place: check on Hinata. However, when Naruto finally glanced back into the coffee shop, the angry man from before was nowhere to be seen. He really hoped that guy hadn’t given Hinata any trouble at his expense. Poor, sweet Hinata wouldn’t stand a chance against that guy’s wrath or anyone’s for that matter.

With a shake of his head, Naruto decided to go across the street to Ichiraku’s. A chime of the bell on the door announced his arrival and he was greeted by the sound of two girls arguing.

“What do you mean you don’t want me to come with you?!” One girl screeched.

“I’m just saying, they still don’t know we’re together and I’m not sure if I want to tell them yet”, came the equally loud reply.

“You’re gonna have to tell them eventually! I was not made to be kept a secret!”

Naruto rushed over to the counter to the sight of a girl with pink hair and an equally pink flustered face glowering at the blonde haired girl in front of her.

“Ino! Sakura!” Naruto yelled over them.

The two girls paused and the pink haired girl’s expression softened. Blondie crossed her arms.

“Oi, Naruto” the blonde girl mumbled. “We were in the middle of something.”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “In the middle of trying to kill each other again? Eh, Ino?”

Ino huffed and stomped off through a back door behind the counter. The pink haired girl, Sakura, gave Naruto a sheepish smile.

“She’s a little upset” Sakura said softly.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow. “Just her?”

With a heavy sigh, Sakura shook her head wearily. “I dunno, Naruto. She always seems upset with me these days. We argue about the same thing: why haven’t I told anyone we’re together?”

With a shrug, Naruto began scanning the large assortment of Asian delicacies that lined the store’s walls.

“You told me” he said distractedly as he eyed the expansive shelf stocked with ramen.

Sakura snorted. “You don’t count.”

“I do too count!” Naruto countered. He filled his arms with packet upon packet of instant ramen and gathered up a small array of Japanese sodas. Spreading his plunder out on the counter before Sakura, he grinned.

“Maybe it is time you told someone besides me” he said.

Sakura jerked, eyebrows knitting together and a pout on her lips. “You’re taking her side?”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side” Naruto responded defensively. “I’m just saying, if I was dating someone, I wouldn’t want to keep it a secret.”

Briefly, an image of the beautiful, dark haired man whose day Naruto surely ruined flashed through his head. Oh no, he _definitely_ wouldn’t want to keep that a secret.

Sakura scanned the number of products Naruto had amassed and tossed them into plastic bags. Her jade green eyes stared absently at the register as she did so.

“Hey, Sakura” Naruto began. “You get a lot of Asians in here, right?”

Sakura raised an eyebrow. “No idiot, we get a lot of white people in here” she said sarcastically. “Between this store and Neji’s network, Ino and I practically know all the Asians in D.C.” she continued with a chuckle.

Before Naruto could respond, “Speaking of Neji, he wants to know whether you’ll be taking his cousin on a date anytime soon seeing as all she does is talk about you.”

Naruto crinkled his nose and folded his hands behind his back. “Huh, Hinata? Uh… she’s nice and all but I don’t know if she’s my type.”

Sakura let out a loud laugh. “Honestly? How is she not your type? You’ve always been gaga for the dark hair, pale skin thing. Do you not remember college?”

“I do not have a thing for dark hair and pale skin” Naruto whined.

“Whatever you say, stupid” Sakura teased, tying up the last of his purchases. “That’s $32.63.”

Naruto fished the money out of his pocket and handed it over. “Anyway, about the Asian thing. There was this guy I saw today across the street at Starbucks. I bumped into him and made him spill his coffee all over himself and his stuff or whatever. He was kind of a dick, but I didn’t get to really apologize so I was wondering if…”

Sakura’s eyes were glittering with mischief as Naruto trailed off.

“Hm” Sakura began. “And what did this man look like?”

Naruto felt a blush rising to his cheeks. “He had dark hair and pale skin” he mumbled inaudibly.

“What was that?” Sakura quirked eyes crinkling with a smile.

“He had dark hair and pale skin okay but I don’t have a thing for it, it’s just a coincidence” Naruto repeated, this time loud enough to hear.

“Of course” Sakura chimed. “Come on then, what’s his name?”

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, the scars on his cheeks wiggling with the curve of his smile.

“I have no idea”, he said.

“How do you expect me to find your latest crush if I don’t have a name, Naruto?”

“Wha?” Naruto asked, bewildered. “He’s- he’s not a crush! I just wanted to say sorry properly.”

Sakura practically had to bite her lip off to keep from smiling, but a slight smirk still graced her features when she turned her attention back to her friend.

“Uh huh, sure Naruto. And just how do you plan to express your remorse?” she teased, eyebrows waggling.

Naruto wanted to bury his face in his shirt. “It’s not a crush, Sakura!”

“Ha, I’ve known you for years Naruto. You’re my best friend and you only get flustered over two things: freshly cooked ramen, and pretty boys.”

“She’s right!” came Ino’s voice from the backroom, supporting her girlfriend’s conclusions.

“Shut up, Ino! Nobody asked you!” Naruto yelled.

“Nobody gives a shit” came Ino’s screaming reply.

“Oi” Sakura cut in. “Nobody yells at Ino, but me”.

“You get him, babe” Ino responded, finally coming out from the back room. Her blue eyes were rimmed in red, but her death glare told Naruto not to mention it. He’d let her and Sakura work that out later.

“So what does your latest boy toy look like?” Ino asked pointedly.

Naruto could feel the flush rising from his neck to the tip of his ears like a liquid thermometer.

“Boy toy?!” he shrieked.

Sakura chuckled. “She didn’t stutter, Naruto” she said with a smile. “You do have a history of uh… playing the field?”

“I do not!”

“Oh, uh huh, sure” Ino cut in. “We’re living proof of that.” Ino gave her girlfriend a knowing look. “You playing us drove us together in the first place. God you were so annoying, but I guess you just don’t get as flustered with pretty girls as you do with pretty boys, eh Naruto?”

“Annoying, but cute” Sakura added and Ino shoved her playfully.

“I’m totally cuter” she said, sticking out her tongue.

Sakura played right along. “Be careful with that tongue or I’ll make you put it to work” she said with a smirk. Naruto covered his ears.

“Hey, hey” he said, interrupting the girls who seemed to be inching closer with each word. “That person I need you to find?”

Ino rolled her eyes. “Fine, prince charming. You said he had pale skin and dark hair, but we’re gonna need more than that.”

Naruto chewed his lip silently thanking the heavens that Ino and Sakura’s playfulness hadn’t extended beyond sexual innuendos. He did not put it past them to scar his eyes with graphic depictions of public indecency. He tried to remember as much of the man as he could though it wasn’t exactly hard. That face would be engrained in his memory forever.

“Uh, he’s got dark eyes. He wore a lot of dark clothes. The back of his head kind of looked like a duck’s butt, but not in a bad way ya know?”

Sakura and Ino stood with one elbow on the counter, chins in hands, two different pairs of blue and green eyes appraising him blankly. Without turning her attention to it, Ino reached into a nearby chip bag and absently popped one into her mouth.

“Anything else?” Sakura asked blandly.

Naruto’s hand rubbed at the scars on his cheeks thoughtfully.

“Uh… He had a tattoo on his wrist? Like a little fan, but split about halfway to the handle.”

Ino stopped chewing. Sakura’s jaw dropped. The two exchanged a wary glance. A few moments passed before Sakura spoke.

“What exactly did you do to piss off Sasuke Uchiha?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this first chapter. Before you start wondering, yes this will be NaruSasu but damn there will be development. Let me know what you think in the comments below! 
> 
> Special thanks to Lauren, my beautiful beta who is legit on fire and and all together perfect being for surviving this first chapter with me. Anyhow, I plan to update regularly so bookmark and check back often ^_^.
> 
> Your neighborhood gremlin,  
> Alice ~


	2. Konoha's Chief Financial Officer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sasuke thinks everyone in the Konoha Press is crazy, Kiba is all bark and no bite, and Naruto tries to get his shit together.

If Sasuke ever saw that blond haired dunce again, he was going to greet him with a fist to the face, but for the time being, it could wait.

Thank god for smart phones because this fifteen minute reminder was his saving grace. He arrived at the steps of the Konoha Press at exactly 1:59 and was bursting through the revolving door promptly at two. 

Just in front of the entryway was a half circle desk that stretched from one end of the wall to the other. The task chair situated in front of two computer monitors was empty and at closer inspection, Sasuke saw a small piece of paper folded in half standing atop the counter of the desk.

 _“Out to Lunch”_ the sign read.

 _“Out to lunch?”_ Sasuke thought. _“It’s two o’clock.”_

Sasuke huffed in aggravation just as a figure emerged from behind the wall separating the desk from the rest of the building’s first floor. A man in a well tailored suit leaned against the wall and offered Sasuke nothing more than a quirk of his eyebrow in greeting. His expression was one of utter apathy, his dark hair tied back in a messy, spiked pony tail. After sparing a glance at his watch, the man stuck his hands in his pockets and cocked his head at Sasuke.

“Are you the two o’clock?” he asked in perfect monotone.

Sasuke did his best to not look annoyed. “Yes. Uchiha Sasuke.”

The man sucked his teeth. “Hopeful new writers looking for their next big start” he spoke. “What a drag.”

With that the man turned down into the hallway separating the secretary’s desk and far wall and beckoned for Sasuke to follow.

Not knowing what else to do, Sasuke did as he was told until the two came to a set of elevators. The man clicked the up button and gave Sasuke a sideways glance.

“Our secretary wasn’t out there by any chance was he?”

“No” Sasuke snapped. “Apparently he’s still out for lunch.”

The man was unfazed by Sasuke’s apparent aggravation.

“Well, that’s Naruto.”

The elevator dinged announcing its arrival and the other man gestured for Sasuke to enter with a long sweeping motion of his arm. The doors closed as he punched the button for the top floor.

“Shikamaru Nara” the man said evenly. “Chief Financial Officer. I’m not Tsunadae, so I won’t be reading any boring monologues you writers put through here, but I will be dictating where it goes and how far it goes. You don’t have to like me, but you will need to work with me. So I suggest you relax and stop staring at me like you’re going to put a knife through my neck.”

It took a lot to shock Sasuke, but the perfectly unbothered way Shikamaru was able to relay this information had his mouth slightly agape. Shikamaru didn’t even spare him a moment’s glance. Sasuke quickly recomposed himself and looked at at Shikamaru with equal indifference.

“Hn” he grumbled.

The elevator finally came to a stop at the 100th floor.

Shikamaru navigated between office cubicles and lengthy hallways, passing break rooms and meeting rooms filled with busy looking people until they finally arrived at the back of the floor where three offices sat side by side each paneled in glass with huge wall to wall windows. Shikamaru passed the one in the middle whose door bore the title “Editor in Chief: Tsunadae Senju” and went into the one on the far left.

The Nara man sat back easily in the large task chair behind the desk and gestured for Sasuke to sit in one of the two conference chairs before him.

Once Sasuke had seated himself, Shikamaru let out a lengthy sigh.

“Alright then, Sasuke. Tell me a bit about you”, he said without interest.

Sasuke cocked an eyebrow. He wasn’t here for a damn interview. He was here to show them his work.

“I like to let me writing speak for itself”, Sasuke responded sarcastically.

Shikamaru’s half lidded stare remained unfazed though the corner of his lip titled upward slightly. He avoided Sasuke’s glare, instead opting to attempt to balance a pen between the desk and his ring finger.

“Funny” he mumbled nonchalantly.

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed. “Funny how?”

“Assholes generally tend to speak too much, but I guess you’re different then” Shikamaru met Sasuke’s death glare with a full on smirk. “Eh, Sasuke?”

He didn’t respond, just stared at Shikamaru with bitter indifference. He wasn’t going to let this prick get to him.

“Anyhow” Shikamaru continued “Welcome to Konoha Press. You’ll need to leave your completed work with Tsunadae within three months and we require weekly check ins to review and discuss your progress. You can organize all that with our secretary whenever he gets back and—”

“Wait” Sasuke cut in. “You’re just going to take me on just like that? You haven’t even read any of my work yet”.

Shikamaru let out another sigh and rolled his eyes. “Money doesn’t care about the words you put on a piece of paper. Money cares about what sells and even if your book is shit, you will sell. Your image is enough to kick start any boring piece of crap you manage to come up with. I don’t particularly like you, but I do like money and I know what money likes.”

Sasuke’s brows knitted in confusion. “So you’re selling me and my book?”

“If you want to put it stupidly, yes. Tsunadae can make anything you write sound good, but only you can sell you and the person behind the book ultimately decides how the book will sell.”

“But you barely know me” Sasuke said blandly.

Shikamaru chuckled. It was a low, even tone that still managed to sound inherently bored. “I know you’re an asshole” he said. “And like it or not asshole sells. Plus you’re good looking and that always gives us a push in the teen department. You wouldn’t happen to write in the YA genre?”

Sasuke chewed on his lower lip, but didn’t respond.

“I’ll take that as a no” Shikamaru said with a shrug and he looked as if he might have said something else had the phone atop his desk not started beeping. Without so much as an ‘excuse me’, Shikamaru picked it up, ignoring Sasuke.

“Yes, Naruto” he said calmly after a while.

“My two o’clock already arrived.”

A pause.

“Well you _were_ out to lunch.”

Sasuke could hear yelling on the other line and could just make out the words ‘coffee run’ and ‘damn Tsunadae’. Then the yelling stopped and Sasuke saw Shikamaru glance at him from the corner of his eye.

“I believe so” Shikamaru said his tone almost, but not quite, amused.

“I’ll send him down right away.”  
In a strange gesture, Shikamaru placed his hands on his desk with the fingers of his right hand lightly cupping the underside of his left hand’s finger while his thumbs just barely touched until his hands made a near half circle. He closed his eyes and then opened them as if remembering Sasuke was still there.

“You can go now” he said blandly. “Our secretary downstairs will fill you in on all the details, but that’s not my area. Details are such a drag…”

Before Sasuke left to once again be engulfed by the mass of hallways, offices and frantic workers, he thought he caught a glimpse of a smile playing on Shikamaru’s lips.

* * *

According to Sakura, Sasuke Uchiha was no one to mess around with. As Naruto elbowed his way through the crowded streets, precariously balancing the tied bag of ramen around his wrist and cup holder full of coffee in his hand, he tried to force his brain to make sense of his best friend’s words.

“The tattoo is from their parents. They were like some super genius rich people, but the brother” Sakura had paused for dramatic effect throwing her head back in awe. “The _brother_. Now _he’s_ a genius.”

Naruto still couldn’t make sense of that. “Okay, super rich geniuses who all get matching tattoos?” 

Both Ino and Sakura had looked at him with annoyance. “No” Ino had cut in. “More like a super rich genius gang. The whole family was on point.”

“Nah it wasn’t that hardcore” Sakura interrupted. “It was more like a clan. An Uchiha Clan.”

Ino had just rolled her eyes, but it didn’t take much prompting from Naruto’s part to get her to continue.

“But yeah there was some big tragedy or whatever. No one really knows what happened, but only Sasuke and his brother survived, so Itachi is like super protective.”

“Which sucks” Sakura had interrupted again. “Because everyone wants a slice of that Uchiha ass.”

That was when Ino’s jaw dropped and the two girls had resumed their ritual bickering again. Oh well. Naruto had gotten enough information out of them and he didn’t want to stick around long enough for the make up session that was soon to follow in the back room. Instead he’d collected his items, retrieved his coffee order from a sheepish Hinata, and made his way back to Konoha Press.

At least now he had a name. Sasuke Uchiha. Damn even his name sounded sexy. And somehow vaguely familiar. But no, he would’ve remembered that name. Especially a name attached to a face like Sasuke’s.

Naruto’s phone went off while he was lost in thought. Clumsily fishing it out of his pocket while still trying to balance his load and not ram into yet another person today, Naruto checked it.

 _“Shikamaru - two o’clock client”_ the phone read in bright white text and Naruto almost passed out at the sight of the note underneath his reminder. _“Client – Uchiha, Sasuke”._

That’s why Sasuke’s name was familiar. Naruto checked the time. It was already two o’clock. Damn he really needed to set these reminders to notify him ahead of time.

“Shit” he cursed under his breath just as he caught sight of the Konoha Press building rooftop. “Shit, shit, shit”.

Naruto broke into a run which was probably a sight to see considering how much he had about his person. He stormed in through the revolving door a few minutes after two hoping to find a certain dark haired man waiting at the secretary’s desk. But no. There was no Sasuke here.

With a sigh, Naruto balanced the cup holder with the drinks on the edge of the counter and threw his bag of ramen over its ledge so that it could land safely in front of his computer. He didn’t bother walking around to sit down, just gracefully leaped over the counter and sank into his chair. Absently, he checked his computer to remind himself of the rest of the day’s appointments. Shikamaru had a meeting with the advertising team at four. That was going to be hell. Nothing ever seemed to go smoothly whenever Choji, Kiba, Shino, and Konoha Press’ CFO were shoved into one room. He’d send Kakashi in as well to ensure nothing exloded. Other than that he day was pretty slow. Tsunadae didn’t have any clients, but Naruto picked up the phone and rang her office extensio to let her know her coffee had arrived.

The phone rang and rang until finally the voicemail system came on, Tsunadae’s trademark professionalism droning on. She wasn’t even in her office.

Naruto groaned. He knew exactly where she was- the roof of the company, leafing through their latest publication drafts. He was not going all the way up there. Besides, he had an Uchiha to track down.

Again, Naruto picked up the phone this time dialing Shikamaru’s office extension. Shikamaru picked up almost immediately.

“Shika” Naruto practically yelled, but he was only met with a bland and bored, “Yes, Naruto?”

“Sasuke Uchiha, your two o’clock he—”

“My two o’clock already arrived” Shikamaru said, cutting him off.

Naruto groaned. “I didn’t even get to check him in and you know it’s company policy.”

“Well you _were_ out to lunch”

“I wasn’t out to lunch! I didn’t even get to eat lunch! I was on a damn coffee run masquerading as my lunch break! I missed him because I had to go on a freaking coffee run for damn Tsunadae who isn’t even in her goddamn office!”

When Shikamaru didn’t respond, Naruto quickly composed himself. Shikamaru was hardly ever in the mood to take any of his shit. Especially when he resorted to yelling.

“Say, Shika, does he have a little tattoo of a fan on his wrist?”

“I believe so” Shikamaru responded with the slightest hint of amusement.

Naruto tried to quell his nerves. So it was _the_ Sasuke Uchiha. Naruto tried to make his voice sound normal.

“Well, uh, he still has to do check in and we need to sort out his company schedule and uh stuff.”

The blond practically sighed in relief when Shikamaru said that he’d send Sasuke down. Good. Now Sasuke would have no choice but to speak to him like a civilized human being. He didn’t know what it was about the Uchiha man that made him want to rise to the challenge. Whatever the challenge was, hell Naruto had no idea. Sasuke made his blood run hot and made his anger boil over and all he’d done was spill some coffee on him. Man he was so fucked.

It would take Sasuke a hot minute to get down here from the 100th floor so in an attempt to redirect his nervous energy, Naruto sent out a mass email to Kakashi, Tsunadae, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Shino.

_“Coffee is here. Come get it or it goes in the trash. You all collectively owe me $25. The place was crowded so I don’t have the receipt so you’re just going to have to take my word for it. You’ve got 15 minutes.”_

There, Naruto thought, satisfied with his work. That would get them down here fast enough. No one played around in this office when it came to coffee.

* * *

Just as Sasuke was about to step onto the elevator, his phone vibrated. A text. From none other than Itachi. Sasuke smirked, knowing what the message entailed. He opened it to a photo of a tan, blue eyed and blond haired man wearing what Sasuke thought was undoubtedly the most attractively radiant smile he’d ever seen. And he hated overtly radiant smiles on principle. Underneath the photo, Itachi included a message.

_“Uzumaki, Naruto. 22 years old. B.S. in secretarial science. Parents died from drive by shooting 20 years ago. No other family to speak of besides adoptive father Iruka Umino. Currently works at Konoha Printing Press and Editing Firm.”_

Sasuke’s eyes went wide. There was no way in hell. No. Just no. What were the odds? Maybe Itachi had gotten it wrong; had included the wrong description with the photo. But no. Itachi never got it wrong and Sasuke grunted when the next text popped up.

_“This your boy?”_

Sasuke shoved his phone back in his pocket. He didn’t have time for Itachi’s teasing. The gears in his mind were turning. Secretarial science degree. Sasuke’s brain flashed to the lobby area. An empty task chair at the secretary’s desk. _Out to lunch._

He slapped his forehead with his palm. The idiot who spilled coffee all over him and his laptop was the damn secretary for the Konoha Press. Of fucking course.

Just as the elevator doors were closing, a man slipped inside. His hair was gray, but not naturally so. He wore a thick black scarf around his neck that covered the entirety of his face up to his eyes. His pale gray suit was well tailored and unabashedly expensive, but the man paid Sasuke no heed, his nose stuck in a book as he absently clicked the button for the first floor. Sasuke couldn’t help but think that the man reminded him of his brother. Not by means of looks or even general appearance, but in the way he carried himself with a nonchalant indifference that oozed intelligence. Sasuke couldn’t tell if they would end up being friends or enemies and he really didn’t care anymore beyond that. He just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible and pray that he didn’t fall into the endless abyss of awkwardness upon meeting the company’s secretary.

The elevator stopped on the 54th floor on its way down and two more men entered. One wore dark, circular glasses even though he was in doors. A high collared shirt engulfed most of his face. Damn what was it about these people and not showing their face? This man’s disposition created a similar sense of apathy as Shikamaru and the gray haired man’s. The third man was the exact opposite. He came onto the elevator chatting, his voice cutting through the silence.

“I don’t know Shino, she was just perfect man. I’m in love.”

Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he inched back to put some distance between himself and the other three men.

Shino’s friend, the one in love, eyed Sasuke hungrily. There was something in his brown eyes, something almost animal-like that put Sasuke on edge. The man leaned against the elevator’s railing and shot Sasuke a lopsided smile.

“Name’s Kiba” he said with a wink in Sasuke’s direction.

Sasuke, unfazed, crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at the man, but said nothing.

The gray haired man chuckled and the other three turned their attention to him. His gaze peered up and over the top of his book.

“Behave, Kiba. Sasuke’s new” the man drawled.

Sasuke tried to remain unbothered by the fact that the gray haired man knew his name already. Did news really travel that quick in this place?

“Aw come on Kakashi” Kiba joked. “I’m just teasing. Besides…” Kiba shot Sasuke another hungry gaze. “He’s too pretty for my taste, and I know better than to mess with one of the Uchiha boys, eh?”

Shino’s voice was calm and even when he spoke, but with none of the blandness of Shikamaru’s and still not quite as animated as a normal person’s. “Weren’t you just in love, Kiba?”

“Still am” Kiba said with a shrug. Sasuke silently hoped he could will the elevator to go down faster. Even he wanted off this crazy train and crazy ran in his family. “But I think Naruto’s got her pegged. Plus she’s Hyuuga and I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of action. Her cousin scares the shit outta me.”

Sasuke stiffened at the mention of Naruto’s name. Well if he’d had any lingering doubts, that definitely crushed them. Hm, so Naruto was into a Hyuuga girl? Sasuke tried to ignore the lurch of disappointment he felt with that knowledge. Come to think of it, wasn’t the Starbucks barista a Hyuuga? That would explain the explicit flirting going on between her and Naruto. Well, at least Naruto had flirted. The Hyuuga girl just seemed to stupidly giggle.

“You shouldn’t let fear rule you, Kiba” Kakashi said quietly, voice muffled underneath the confines of his scarf.

Kiba let out a loud guffaw of laughter. “Easy for you to say. Nothing’s scary when you’re Tsunade’s bitch.”

If Sasuke wasn’t mistaken, he thought he saw Shino smirk if only slightly. Sasuke was astounded by the remarkable differences in each of the people he’d encountered today. While Shikamaru’s general indifference held an air of arrogance and overall smugness, Shino was quietly appraising of those around him. Kakashi- well Kakashi was on an entirely different level than those two. Sasuke didn’t know what to make of him. Needless to say, these people were crazy. They were uncanny. They were so terribly _writable_.

As the elevator got closer and closer to the ground floor, Sasuke’s heart began to race. The conversations of the three men around him began to fade into the distance and the looming sense of dread he faced at confronting Konoha Press’ secretary became greater with each descending floor. They reached the tenth floor and the count down on the elevator’s screen above only increased Sasuke’s anxiety. But he wouldn’t dare let himself betray how he felt. Some tan, blond idiot wasn’t going to make him into a fool. No matter how perfectly blue those eyes were. Besides it was only a slight physical attraction at best. 

Sasuke had had crushes before. They’d been fleeting, pointless things that never lasted more than 48 hours often bred from some connection he saw between the person and a particular character he was writing. This would be no different. 

Except there were no Naruto’s in any of his stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be fleshing out the relationship between Ino and Sakura a bit more and there will be one more relationship that I'll focus on in here though I don't think it's a particularly popular ship. Anyhow, the next update should come this Wednesday. I'd appreciate a quick kudos if you like it so far ^_^.
> 
> Thanks for reading and leave any smiles, frowns, or disappointed faces in the comments below.
> 
> Alice ~


	3. A Little Birdie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kiba does Naruto a favor, Itachi is a helpful big brother, and Naruto enjoys making Sasuke flustered.

When Naruto heard the familiar ding of the elevator doors opening down the hall, his stomach lurched. When he heard the all too familiar voices of Kiba and Kakashi, he almost choked on his ramen.

_Nononono_ he thought. He hadn’t wanted them to come down _that_ fast, damn. He just wanted a few seconds alone with that Uchiha kid. Just two measly minutes to see what had that guy so pissed off. Plus, Sasuke’s anger was attractive on him. Naruto wouldn’t mind getting under the Uchiha’s skin again.

Kiba, Kakashi, and Shino rounded the corner in front of his desk and Kakashi plucked his frapuccino from the holder. As if just thinking of it, he also took Tsunade’s espresso giving the rest of the boys a silent wave as he made his way back to the elevator.

“Hey, you owe me!” Naruto yelled out after him, shooting up from his chair. Kiba and Shino each quickly grabbed their coffees as well, Kiba narrowly missing Naruto’s fist. He laughed as the pair of them followed Kakashi back to the elevator.

“We’re doing you a favor!” Kiba shouted.

Just as they disappeared beyond Naruto’s sight, the tall, lean form of Sasuke Uchiha demanded Naruto’s attention. He wore the same dark clothes as earlier and judging by the lingering smell of coffee he hadn’t even bothered trying to clean his dark shirt. Sasuke stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets, looking everywhere but at Naruto.

Walking up behind the ledge of his desk’s counter, Naruto sat his elbow atop it and placed his chin in his hand.  
“Is your laptop okay?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke looked at him as if he was just now realizing Naruto was even there. His response dripped with cynicism. “Actually, no. You completely fried it, but you seem like the type used to destroying things.”

Naruto tried not to let that comment get to him. Of course Sasuke didn’t know him at all. He wouldn’t have known how close to home a snide remark like that actually hit. Instead he did what he knew how to do best. He smiled.

“And you seem like the type to hold a grudge, but I forgive you for that.”

“Hn” was all Sasuke replied.

Naruto swiveled back around to his computer screen and opened up the employee calendar. “I really am sorry about your laptop” he said, eyes fixated on the monitor. “Maybe I can buy you a new one?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I don’t need your damn charity.”

Naruto raised an eyebrow and turned to the dark haired man. God why did he have to be such a prick?

“You know for someone with such a pretty face you’ve got a real ugly attitude” Naruto snapped as he began clicking away at the keyboard.

And there it was, the reaction Naruto had been waiting for. He watched as Sasuke’s expression went from angry to embarrassed and then back into his mask of indifference. It didn’t matter how nonchalant he looked now considering he was still blushing up to his ears.

“Fuck you” he spat.

Naruto smirked. Man he was making this too easy.

“Promise?” Naruto asked with a wink.

Naruto watched as Sasuke gritted his teeth and approached his desk with a sickly sweet sarcastic smile. “I have standards dobe”.

Looking up through a set of thick blond eyelashes, Naruto responded “I can lower those.” 

God what was he _doing_? He hadn’t exactly been _planning_ on flirting. He just wanted to square things away and make sure Sasuke’s stuff wasn’t in ruins because in all honesty he did feel bad about ruining the man’s laptop. But damn how did the universe expect him _not_ to flirt with this? The Uchiha was practically sex on legs for damn sake.

“Tch” Sasuke said with a suck of his teeth. “Anyway, your boss said you have some details to finalize with me for the company?”

With a little pout Naruto turned his attention back to the computer mumbling an incoherent, “You’re no fun” as he did so.

Sasuke leaned on the counter, peering over at Naruto’s monitor. The pose was tortorous, revealing just a sliver of collarbone beneath the neck of Sasuke’s shirt. Oh yeah, Naruto had plans for that collarbone.

_Focus_ Naruto he thought to himself. _Focus_.

Pointing at the calendar he’d pulled up, Naruto ran over the details of the employee schedule. “So you’ll be required to check in every Wednesday at two and I’ve scheduled the due date for your final review. That’s when Tsunade will read over what you’ve written and decide whether or not she likes it. You’ll be paid through direct deposit every two weeks. Questions?”

Sasuke was leisurely biting the nail of his thumb, his bangs swooping just over those perfect, endlessly dark eyes. “Yeah, where do I check in?”

“With me” Naruto said matter-of-factly. “I can check you in… or I can just check you out. Your choice.”

Again, Sasuke’s face turned the most unnatural shade of scarlet Naruto had ever seen on a human. Thank the heavens for pale skin because Sasuke’s blush was utter perfection. If he hadn’t been blushing, Naruto would have thought Sasuke was completely composed with the way he responded.

“Well is your lunch break always at two or am I going to have to check myself in every Wednesday?”

Naruto grinned sheepishly. Sasuke scowled. “Actually my lunch break is at one. I kind of um… Got held up today.”

If possible, Sasuke’s scowl intensified. “Then how the hell am I supposed to keep up with your schedule if you get held up again?”

“You could always just eat lunch with me on Wednesdays” Naruto suggested cheekily.

The blush was back. “There is no way in hell I’m wasting an hour of my life every week eating lunch with some idiot who can’t even make a damn appointment check in on time”.

“You have very specific standards” Naruto mused.

Sasuke practically growled in frustration. “You’re an idiot, I’m leaving, see you next Wednesday.”

“So does that mean we’re on for lunch?” Naruto screamed out after him.

Without a response, Sasuke stormed out of the revolving door and even though he’d just gotten cussed out within an inch of his life, Naruto felt like his meeting with Sasuke Uchiha couldn’t have gone any better.

* * *

_Jesus_ Sasuke thought as he found himself back on the crowded D.C. streets. _Could that have gone any worse?_

Here he was ready to pull out his best indifferent scowl and just get that shit over with until the dobe had him blushing every ten seconds. Damn his pale skin. Damn these fucking hyperactive blood cells. His blood just needed to calm the fuck down. He didn’t need this kind of embarrassment.

The thing is, he’d _had_ crushes before. He normally dealt with this sort of thing easily. All it took was a few rude remarks and some snappy comments to get the other person to never want to talk to him again. Then, boom. Crush problem solved and feelings out of the way. But Naruto. Naruto was… _So. Damn. Stubborn._ Was the man truly oblivious to Sasuke’s aggravation or did he just not care? Probably the latter, but if not then Sasuke was right about him- he really was dumb. Anyone within a ten mile radius could feel his irritation.

Anyhow, he would have a week before he would see that stupidly attractive idiot again. He’d definitely be over this ridiculous crush by then. All he wanted right now though was a warm shower, some hot chamomile and to write the night away and dammit he’s 20 years old so he’ll do as he pleases.

Thirty minutes later Sasuke is scrambling in his pocket for his keys and jiggling open the door to his apartment. In front of the door is a package which Sasuke heaves up with one hand and awkwardly maneuvers into his kitchen. There’s no return address on it, but the packing itself is unmistakable. His new laptop was already here.

_Hn_ Sasuke thought with a roll of his eyes. _Already? This is a new record, Itachi._

The United States Postal System was also something Sasuke had come to learn Itachi had precarious control over. Whenever the younger Uchiha man needed something, it was at his door step in less than a day. He was starting to get the feeling that Itachi was watching him all the time anyway. Whatever. He didn’t have time to fathom the breadth of his brother’s network.

Sasuke pulls out a sleek, ultra thin laptop from a brand he didn’t recognize. Hell he didn’t even recognize the model itself. There was no logo, no differentiating factors, no anything. It was just a matte black color that was thinner than most magazines. It was gorgeous. Rummaging around in the near empty box, Sasuke pulled out his brother’s note. Itachi always left notes in his packages.

__

Sasuke,

This model was never released due to the excruciatingly high costs of producing a computer of this power. Apparently it would have crippled the United State’s economy. I’m not an economist though and see no reason why you should not have one.

Happy writing.

-Itachi

Slipped inside the laptop was a small pamphlet detailing the workings of the machine. Sasuke raised his eyebrows. This thing could run for a month non stop on a full charge. Briefly, Sasuke wondered what Itachi had to do to get this for him, but he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. Just as he was sitting down at his chair in front of the window, prepared to plug up his hardrive and pick up where he’d left off, Sasuke’s phone buzzed.

He was expecting Itachi, but the text was from an unknown number. With a quirk of an eyebrow, Sasuke opened it.

_From 202-246-2822: Hey asshole, it’s Naruto. U didn’t tell me if we were on for lunch or not. I know this great ramen place. My treat ;)._

Before Sasuke could respond, another text popped up.

__

Oh and before u ask I got ur number from the employee files and feel no guilt in abusing my secretarial power.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but didn’t even register the small smile that creeped its way onto his lips. Leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on the window sill, Sasuke’s fingers moved quickly over the screen.

__

Are you asking me on a date, dobe?

Three little dots appeared on the screen. Then they disappeared. A few seconds later they returned. Sasuke sighed. Finally, a response.

__

Yes.

With a smirk, Sasuke began typing out his reply.

__

I told you, I have standards.

I totally meet your standards!

Sasuke rolled his eyes when a certain thought popped back into his memory. Eyebrows knitted together in confusion, Sasuke responded:

__

Aren’t you into the Hyuuga girl?

WHAA?? DO U MEAN HINATA WHO TOLD U I WAS INTO HINATA??

A little birdie.

WELL THAT BIRDIE LIED

I saw you flirting with her at Starbucks loser.

A little flare of disappointment played in Sasuke’s heart. The little dots were back, but they wouldn’t go away this time. After two minutes of continuously monitoring the little wave the three dots did, Sasuke decided to call the dumb ass.

“Oi, loser” Sasuke answered in greeting. “If you’re going to spend that long typing a response, just call.”

“I couldn’t figure out what to say!”

The voice on the other end was loud and defensive and utterly annoying. _Yet somehow_ Sasuke thought _mildly endearing_.

As if just remembering, Naruto added “And don’t call me a loser!”

“Whatever usaratonkatchi.”

“What the hell does that mean? Come to think of it what does dobe mean and what language is that Chinese or something?”

Sasuke chuckled a twisted sarcastic little laugh. “It’s Japanese dumb ass and dobe means dead last. Usaratonkatchi means loser. Shouldn’t you know at least some Japanese? I mean, your name is fish cake for god’s sake.”

There was a small pause on the other end. “Uh” Naruto began. His voice was uncharacteristically quiet for once. “Well my parents knew Japanee, but uh they weren’t really around to teach me.” Naruto trailed off.

That’s when Sasuke remembered. _Uzumaki, Naruto. Orphan. Parents killed in drive by shooting when he was two._ Damn Naruto was parentless and alone and Sasuke hadn’t even been born yet. An unfamiliar feeling began like a stab to Sasuke’s chest. It was sharp and sad and if Sasuke didn’t know himself any better he would think it was sympathy, but no. He was Sasuke Uchiha. He didn’t sympathize with anyone besides the characters in his books.

“I’m sorry, Naruto” Sasuke said softly. He didn’t know where the words had come from. They’d just spilled out of his mouth without warning.

Back to normal, Naruto’s voice was bright and sunny on the other end. “Eh, it’s alright I didn’t really know them enough to miss them anyway and it’s not like you knew and whatdidyoujustapologizetome?”

Sasuke smirked, but said nothing as the blond spoke so fast his words became barely discernible.

“No, I must’ve heard wrong, right? Because you’re an asshole. Assholes don’t apologize.”

“If I’m such an asshole why are you the one hitting on me when you clearly already have something going with Hyuuga?”

The question had more bitterness in it than Sasuke had intended and the long pause on the other end told Sasuke that Naruto had picked up on it.

“Hinata’s just a friend” Naruto grumbled into the phone.

“Extremely friendly is more appropriate.”

“I’m serious!” Naruto yelled obnoxiously. “Fine, you don’t believe me? Let me take you out for lunch. I’ll tell you the whole story.”

Sasuke’s eye lit up at the word ‘story’. He never passed up a good one and Naruto was so animated he thought that the loser would be able to make anything sound interesting. Against his better judgement, Sasuke muttered a quick “Fine meet me at Konoha on Wednesday at one” and clicked end before Naruto could respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is late ish, but still technically on time since it's still Wednesday for me. Enjoy this third chapter and as always, feedback is appreciated ^_^. Also, I swear this fic has a plotline besides fluff... It's just a slow build sorry not sorry.
> 
> Another quick shout out to Lauren because she is literally 90% of the funny in this fic, so thanks nerd.
> 
> XOXO
> 
> Alice ~


End file.
